The following is a list of GLaDOS Portal 2 quotes for your enjoyment. If you haven't played Portal 2, I'll sum it up for you by saying that it's one of the best video games ever made. It is an intelligent and humourous first-person puzzle game.
Note: This is a work in progress. This page will continue to be updated with new quotes as I find them.
"Federal redulations require me to warn you that this next test chamber... is looking pretty good. That's right. The facility is completely operational again. I think these test chambers look even better than they did before. It was easy, really. You just have to look at things subjectively. See what you don't need any more. And trim out the fat."
"Stop it! What if you froze like that?"
"There must be something wrong with the reassembly machine."
"You should see yourselves right now. Is it fun when you degrade yourselves like that?"
"Ok, fine. Let's all act like humans. Look at me. Boy, do I love sweating. Let's convert beef and leaves into energy and excrete them later and go shopping."
"You really aren't getting tired of that, are you."
"Just stop flailing around like an incompetent."
"For that, Blue|Orange is penalized 50 science collaboration points."
"That's another 50 point penalty. Keep it up and you will lose 500 points."
"Fine. 500 point penalty for Blue|Orange."
"5,000 point penalty. Are you happy now?"
"Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. As you can see, in my version, the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna, and feels remorse. Briefly. Reactions? Yes. It's funny because most of it actually happened."
"Do you feel more human? Well, let's do more tests and see what happens."
"We're looking for an artifact. Think of it as an archaeological dig."
"Good! You made it to one of the human habitats."
"You want to know who else celebrates every little thing they do? Humans." [Paraphrased]
"I thought of some good news, he's going to run out of test chambers eventually, I never stockpiled them."
"'Skeletons' Right. I guess I DID stockpile some tests."
"Just a moment, though."
"Oh no... It's happening sooner than I expected. I'm sure we'll be fine. It's probably nothing. Keep testing while I look for a way out."
"And? What exactly is wrong with being adopted? [Whispers: For the record: You ARE adopted, and that is TERRIBLE. But just work with me]"
"Also: Look at her, you moron. She's not fat. I might have pushed the moron thing a little too far this time. Ohhhh, now he's playing classical music."